Saturday, January 30, 2010

Cars with Doors and Fenders?

One thing you gotta admire about these "sports cars" is that they don't let a little precip slow them down. The squat-to-pee IndyCar people are all like, "OMG, it's raining. We got four drops on the apex of turn four, let's delay it for 19 hours until the track is dry at the molecular level."

Man up there, chief. Put on the mud and snows and let's go. Paying customers don't want to watch you spend 19 hours shop vac-ing a weeper.

You can blame my appearance here on Allen "Gold Leader" Wedge who, when not busy being the greatest X-wing fighter in all of Star Warsdom (ask any Star Wars geek who lives with his mom!), seems to dig these fendered cars a lot.

So what do we have down there in Day-Tona? Rain. Better than snow, at least. Cars with fenders, doors and room enough inside for cup holders and house pets. Right now I'm gripped by scenes of the pace car -- SORRY -- safety car running around. And my eyes were just blazed out by some serious day-glow pink rain gear on Speed TV.

HMM. Let's light this candle.

I need to admit that I never really grasped the beauty of this sports car thing. I do appreciate that they have something like 19 classes of cars on the track creating some overtaking and rolling chicanery. I think there is even an "angry Vietnamese rickshaw driver" class. Those little guys can run when you draft them a little.

HOLD the phone. Ryan Hunter-Reay just got air. Said "everything's gonna be all right." Kidding. Made that up. And now CHIPPY GANASSI. It's a regular Indy Racing League festival of air time. Love the heavy gold chains, Chip, but in the future I'd ditch the cigarette holder and have one of your people hold your scotch when on camera.

Has Chippy lost weight? Looking pretty tight there, C-daddy. Let's HANG at Kansas when we're done with all this amusing twistiness and ready to get the wings back. Call my cell.

Now it sounds like the sports car people aren't as freakishly fearless as I thought. Standing water in the Bus Stop is delaying the show. Dude. You're crushing my super manly view of sports cars.

Well, enjoy the show. I'll be watching off and on.

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