Monday, November 11, 2013

Good Thing Jonathan Martin Didn't Want to Write for GBS

I remember the day we drafted Speedgeek to join Grab Bag Sports. That day, he became one of us. But first, oh yes, he had to endure the toughest of hazing rituals. I can't even say everything that went down that day, because I don't want to end up like Richie Incognito being interviewed on FOX by Jay Glazer. But I'll give you some of the highlights.

- You think a $15,000 Vegas trip is bad? I made Speedgeek get me five bottles of Mexican Coke and a six-pack of Abita Purple Haze. This team isn't free, guys. You gotta pay to play.

- I'm not saying we beat him with coin-filled socks or anything, but we did take him for a little ride... on Mushroom Gorge. I was constantly knocking him off of mushrooms into the deep black abyss, while Wedge blue-shelled the crap out of him any time he actually took a lead. You think this is a game? Do you? Cause it's not.

- I sent him this one text that was basically like, "Dude, your fantasy team is winning a lot of games, but I hope I'm lucky enough to pull out a victory against you this weekend." I didn't hold back. It was pretty rough, but it's what I had to do.

Bottom line, we eventually let him on the ship, but we didn't wait for him at the dock. I don't even know what that means. But now I want some Purple Haze.


12 comments:

The Speedgeek said...

The humanity. It was awful. I still wake up in cold sweats at the thought of hitting six banana peels just before hitting the mushroom area, sending me off the cliff. And then the blue shell hitting me on the way down, to add insult to my (virtual kart racing) injury.

On the other hand, Mike definitely jinxed me in fantasy football this week, by highlighting my leading our league. Sure, I got 29 points out of St. Louis' sorry defense, and a ridiculous 18 points out of Andy Dalton (HAIL MARY!), but I think Mike infected Eric Decker with a serious case of the dropsies. I hate you, Mike. I appreciate the fact that my 8-1 start is now encased in internet amber for the eons, but if I miss the playoffs, I'm holding you responsible.

Mike said...

I like my chances with Brees playing like this! I just worry about games in this league coming down to kickers and defense.

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Worry about games coming down to kickers and Defense, I'm pretty sure you mean excited, stoked, happy is the right words to describe it :)

Allen Wedge said...

Hahaha, what the hell just happened, I definitely only hit the button once hahaha